I have heard a lot of people saying to each other my kids fight with each other, please help with that. So I want to give a few tips to you at least to manage siblings’ rivalry. People living in the same house together day in and day out they are going to have arguments. They are not always going to get along. So there is no possibility way to eliminate this completely. But there are some things you can do to at least minimize or make it more manageable.
- BE THE MODEL OF DESIRED BEHAVIOUR
The first thing you can do is to monitor yourself right. Kids are watching everything. And they learn best from models. So how are you modeling conflicts? If every time you and your partner have a disagreement it turns into screaming match, then it is no surprise it is what your kids do when they are in conflict. So you want to teach them how do you have an appropriate conversation with someone when you are feeling frustrated with them, when you are feeling angry with them. So your kids also learn those skills. This is a skill set; how do manage anger, frustrated feelings. Not all adults have that mastered yet either. But really monitor yourself. If you need to a have a screaming match with your partner, it is better to completely leave the room. Go out in the porch or do whatever you have to so that they do not see your fighting but they see you doing something else. They need to see positive ways in which how to deal with conflicts.
- MAKE TIME FOR ONE ON ONE EXPERIENCES WITH EACH CHILD
The next reason why most siblings fight is because of jealousy. And one way to kind of help curb that is to make sure that you are giving each child their own independent time with you. This can be hard if have got several kids, but what you can try to do is plan one day a month, an afternoon with just one on one time with one of the children. You can take them on shopping. Keep looking for discount coupons and promos it will enable you to take your every kid out for shopping. You can even have an overnight trip with each of your children, one at a time. And that is a great way to just keep the focus on them, remind them why they are special to you why they are important to you, without having anyone else so that they have to fight for your attention. It is usually an attention thing that is why children are doing it. So if you can help carve that out; even if just 10 minutes a day you spend dedicated time with one child individually, this is really going to help.
- GIVE YOUR CHILDREN A CHANCE TO RESOLVE THEIR OWN CONFLICTS
Do not always jump in. Children need to learn skills for dealing with conflicts. And it is tempting every time you hear you know trouble brewing in the other room. To turn in there and break it up, give them trouble and scold them for it, is not what you need to do. They need to navigate this on their own. So if kids are having arguments, often it is about what show they are going to watch on television, and if you hear it, give it a few minutes. Just see if they could resolve it. If they could not, enter the room because it is not helpful to holler from other rooms. Get in the room and say you need to solve this problem. And just leave the room. So this makes them realize that the mother knows and she has given us warning that if you can’t resolve it she will intervene. But give them the opportunity to try again. If the squabbling continues though, then just come in and give time out. And the television would go off. They would go their separate directions for an increment of time. For older kids it might be five minutes or so. If they are little, they just kind of separate for one minute or two and then they can reconvene. It is great if you distract them before conflict arises, but you can’t always be watching every little move they make.
- NO NEGATIVE PUT DOWN RULE IN YOUR HOUSE
A little bonus tip that I want to give is that is in a house talking meanly, telling people to shut up or I hate you are the things that should simply be not allowed. There should be zero tolerance policy in the house for mean or negative out downs. This kind of language should not be acceptable. To express your anger you can say I am angry with you but you can’t say you are stupid or you are dumb or anything that is a negative insult to the other person. So have a no negative put down rule in your house and make sure you consequence it when it happens. If you deal your kids harshly on their mistakes they will start lying to you.
By following all above points, you really see your kids grow up to be respectful family members. I hope that will help.
Abigail Kent is an enthusiastic blogger, who loves to write on Trending topics related to lifestyle, traveling and money saving tips. She’s currently associated with Discount Codez, an online coupon code directory offering latest and updated deals, promo’s and vouchers. Follow her at Twitter