Happy Monday my loves…
Isn’t it really frustrating when we ask our kids something and they lie to us? Kids are not good at lying. Parents always know when their kids are lying. It is just so obvious.
When our kids lie, is it a measure of our parenting skills? Does it mean that we have been bad parents? Not necessarily. There are many reasons why kids lie and unless we know these reasons, we may already be provoking our kids to lie and we don’t even know it.
I decided to write this article not because my son lies to me but I want to prevent it from happening. So what are the reasons why our kids sometimes lie to us and what can parents, like us, do about it?
Being a disciplinarian is good but overdoing it can harbour fear in our children. Sometimes our children don’t tell the truth to us because they are afraid to do so. They are afraid that they might be punished. This is particularly true if they had done something that they assume we’ll get angry about.
Kids should not be scared of us. Fear will scar them all throughout their lives. They need someone whom they can trust – someone whom they can talk about anything and everything. This someone should be the parents.
To remedy this, parents should always boost their children’s trust in them. Although punishment is vital at times, always make sure that you explain to your kids why you are punishing them. When you want to squeeze the truth out of them, good explanation will always do the trick.
Some kids are imaginative. They make up stories not for the purpose of lying but to express their imagination. I’ve heard of kids saying they’ve seen purple clouds and I know it is not true but I also know that they just said it because they might have really seen it when they put on their imagination hat.
As parents, what we can do is encourage our children to pour out their imagination in something else. For instance, a good parenting technique here is to give your child a paper and let him draw what is in his mind. This way, children are able to express their imagination without the need to lie.
Sometimes kids are prone to boasting. They want to appear like they are already grown up and so they boast. There are kids who will talk about winning a competition even when it is not true and they do this to boast.
As parents, we should always stress the importance of honesty and humility in our children. Always make your children feel important and valued. By doing so, they will not seek attention by boasting. When they feel they are valued, it is enough to make them feel a grown up.
These are the three reasons why our kids sometimes lie to us. And I have also included the corresponding parenting skills required to prevent lying in the first place.
Psalm 8:2From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.